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USA250 Journal Project
Personal Chronicle: July 4, 2025 – July 5, 2026
A gift for reflection. A record of now. A story for what’s next.
✍️ “Who am I?”
I’m Jeff Alton.
Father. Husband. Banker. Fixer.
I get up early, pay the bills, keep the wheels turning.
I wear a suit even when the pressure doesn’t fit right anymore.
I’m the guy who plans for risk, who reads market trends like weather. Who doesn’t talk about feelings because that’s not how I was raised. You show up. You hold the line. You provide.
That’s love, isn’t it?
I still think about when Meredith and I shared everything. She’d show me her sketches and I’d tell her how the world worked. We laughed more then. Or maybe I just heard her more.
Who am I?
I’m the one who hasn’t told her I might lose the job.
I’m the one still pretending things are fine.
I’m the man who thinks silence might be mercy—but isn’t sure anymore.
✍️ “How did I get here?”
I got here by doing what I thought was right.
Steady job. Mortgage. Private school tours. Maxed out contributions to the 401(k). Steak on Sundays. Quiet expectations the rest of the week.
I got here by believing that if I worked hard enough, the rest would hold.
I met Meredith in college—art major with ink on her fingers. I loved that. Still do. But somewhere along the way, I started measuring everything in spreadsheets instead of sketches.
We said we wanted a family. We didn’t say we wanted to disappear inside it.
Now I sit in meetings where words like “streamline” and “restructure” mean I might not have a place next quarter. I haven’t told her. Not yet. I tell myself it’s because I want to protect her. But truth is—I’m ashamed. I built this life. And I don’t know who I’ll be if I can’t hold it up anymore.
The kids are older. Clara sees through things too fast. Miles still looks at me like I’m safe. I don’t know if I am.
How did I get here?
By surviving quarter after quarter.
By staying useful. By staying quiet.
By thinking I had to hold it all alone.
What has life taught me?
That silence can look like strength until it rots from the inside.
That providing isn’t the same as being present.
And that maybe it’s not too late to change—if I can learn how to say the first true thing out loud.
Family
Meredeth Alton – Wife.
Clara Alton – Daughter.
Miles Alton – Son.
Joan Douglas – Mother-in-law
